it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my being single is dangerous.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
