why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
