I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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