we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
