dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
