If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My cat gives me a boner
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
