look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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