maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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