put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
