Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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