You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
