so explain again why im purple
no
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
