Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
