So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
