dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
