Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
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We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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