dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
