piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
