he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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