Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
