Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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