Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
