Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
