there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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