I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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