i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
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My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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