If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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