We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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