maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
