I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
