how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Even my vagina gasped.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
