People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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