She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize