Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
this beer tastes like vomit already
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize