Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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