I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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