I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
