I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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