yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he shaved USA in his pubs
accomplished twins. life is a go
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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