I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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