Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
