Having a random hookup so left but love u
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
