O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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