Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
