I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
