i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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