Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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