We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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