Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
