you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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