On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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