are you still at the devil's house?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
