I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
