okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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