I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
