Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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