I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
