dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
