I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
