At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
