i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
