I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed đ
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He sang the chorus to âInside of youâ by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldnât even be mad, that probably took talent
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